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→ "Should parents read their daughter's texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

daeranilen:

daeranilen:

Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, "Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?"

I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.

I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”

Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.

Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.

It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.

It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.

Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:

Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.

Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.

Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.

Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”

TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:

  1. You do not respect their rights as an individual.
  2. You do not trust them to navigate problems or seek help on their own.
  3. You probably haven’t been listening to them.

Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.

(via azurewhelp)

maryjunenotmaryjane:

thegayloki:

danglingthpider:

rabioheab:

rabioheab:

i hate americans and their stupid fahrenheit temperatures

i only made this post in the hopes that someone would reblog it with the caption “don’t fahrenhate” and you’ve all disappointed me greatly

don’t be a celsiass

its too fahrenlate 

*waves hands helplessly* kelvin

(via phylicialovespie)

Anonymous:  Black is beautiful. White is beautiful and every other color in between is also beautiful. :)

odinsblog:

afrogrrrlxvx:

jayjsupremacy:

lookatthewords:

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I dunnoooo I think you already know that “White is beautiful” don’t you?

Or will it shatter your beauty if I recognize mine?

WELL DAMN

Perfect.

Straight up dedicating this post to allergictofeeling who so exemplifies this post by reblogging a post about Nicki Minaj  image then tagged it “no need to play the race card

please keep your self centered ignorance, micro-agressions and derailing all to yourself

drunkblogging:

jewist:

Guys this no-kill animal shelter in Illinois, USA is going to be shut down unless the raise $5,000 by August 1st which is in 3 days. They have raised $3,320 so far but are still not at their goal. PLEASE donate any amount of money to help keep this no-kill shelter alive. And please reblog this post to spread the word.

Here is a link to where you can donate:
http://www.youcaring.com/pet-expenses/newton-county-dogs/208762

PLEASE REBLOG THIS AND DONATE!!!

(via thebigblackwolfe)

→ http://youngblackandvegan.tumblr.com/post/93363587790/youngblackandvegan-there-are-way-more

youngblackandvegan:

There are way more significant indicators of self hatred than looking at the person someone is dating
When you argue that xyz is anti black because they aren’t dating a black person
As a black person, it is just a shallow argument and often just makes you look…

blondestreakedweave:

niggas on tumblr will go through your archive for 4 hours just to drag you

but won’t drag themselves to a job interview so they can upgrade to brand name ramen and stop stealing mcdonalds wifi

(via thebigblackwolfe)

like
like

casshh-ual:

raepuffy:

weloveblackgirls:

New look . I don’t think I properly introduced it . I’m trying to be the carefree black girl next door who dresses like a toddler 💕

You are seriously the cutest thing <3

You are so cute pls stop

(via weloveblackgirls)

nobodylovesanihilist:

yunglapras:

petticoatruler:

Detachment is a privilege held by people who aren’t targets.

"why are you so emotional about this" - unaffected people

read this. write it on your hand. repeat it to yourself.

so you can never ask me that again

(via facebooksexism)

weloveblackgirls:

quickweaves:

evolution

Let’s steal all they dances

(Source: cosbyykidd)